I agree with Jordan below - often telling ourselves stories  is the starting point of drama triangles. I found myself more aware of situations when I am telling myself stories and consciously trying to take a step back and reassess. I found it somewhat difficult to identify when others are telling themselves stories - maybe I need to practice active listening more.

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On Sep 8, 2017, at 3:49 PM, Massey, Jordan (OUC) <jordan.massey@orix.com<mailto:jordan.massey@orix.com>> wrote:

Since we were introduced to this concept in the HPP last summer, I’ve found myself telling myself stories or identifying when others may be telling themselves stories – both in work and social environments.  It seems that many times telling ourselves stories is step 1 in walking into drama triangles.  When I feel that tension building taking a few minutes to stop and reflect on what story I’m telling myself or ask someone what story they are telling themselves, seems to provide opportunity to avoid drama.  (WIN)

Another thought on this is that while it is useful to identify when I’m telling myself a story, it’s also important to identify when someone on my team may be telling themselves a story and then take the time to ask them about it.  In doing that, it opens the lines of communication and lets them know that if they have a concern or aren’t sure how to interpret an interaction, it’s ok to ask about it.  It also gives me an opportunity to identify where I need to improve the way I communicate.

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Jordan Massey, CPA, CIA  |  Director  |  Internal Audit
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