Recently I have been coaching two of the Directors in my group.  They have been at each other's throats as they are both alphas and aggressive.  The situation had degenerated to a point where they refused to work with one another.  First I sat each down and spent hours listening to their complaints and emotionally charged positions - hour-long phone calls at home and at work.  Then I shifted to coach and helped them identify and recognize some of the things they were doing that were contributing to exacerbate the situation as opposed to mitigating it.  Finally I scheduled a public meeting in Dallas with the two of them and myself to resolve this once and for all.  Both were eager for the meeting and to point out the other's faults.

However, over the last several weeks, I nudged each to provide olive branches to the other, in their own ways.  I helped each party recognize these efforts which then spurred more positive action.  Finally the day came last week for the mtg and both parties were eager to avoid a public meeting in view of the entire group as they were probably ashamed of the situation at this point and wanted to put it behind them.  I didn't let them off the hook.  In fact I ignored their efforts, both nearly begging me for a discreet out of office meeting, and instead chose a fishbowl conf room in plain sight of the entire group.  I then sat with them and explained how I originally had intended to let everyone air their grievances and issues and point out unacceptable behavior, but instead, I gave them atta-boys on their remarkable efforts and told them what they already knew which was that I had personal conversations with each on what was not to occur any longer, and they each applauded the other's efforts as well, and at the end, they "hugged" it out and I reminded them that it would be awkward for a while but "hands clapping" for their efforts to date and to set the tone for the entire group.

I truly enjoy serving in these roles as a manager, coach and challenger.

Sent from my iPhone

On May 21, 2017, at 8:56 PM, Griffin, Scott <sgriffin@redcapitalgroup.com<mailto:sgriffin@redcapitalgroup.com>> wrote:

I had an opportunity to check in with one of my direct reports recently, and during the conversation I was both coach and challenger. The feedback was well received, and if anything my acting as challenger gave the person a boost in that they realized the potential I see in them. It certainly was more effective than had I taken a persecutor’s approach.

-Scott
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