I realized a somewhat similar situation.  I'm trying to figure out how to get my wife kids off their i-phone / i-pad and then I realize I have my phone in my hand and I'm looking at a message.  I'm definitely not walking the walk in this situation.

I'm focusing on how to think differently and be here now more.

Slade Ashmore  |  Director  |  Financial Planning & Analysis  |  ORIX USA Corporation   |  t  |  214-237-2353 c  |  214-728-5081     e  |  slade.ashmore@orix.com  |  www.orix.com

-----Original Message-----
From: ironlady@stagen.simplelists.com [mailto:ironlady@stagen.simplelists.com] On Behalf Of Griffin, Scott
Sent: Wednesday, March 08, 2017 9:57 AM
To: ironlady@stagen.simplelists.com
Subject: RE: Picking up TED

Going through the Walk the Talk log made me realize a values incongruence I exhibited this week. I consider family one of my core values, but last night while reading with my wife and daughter I was also dealing with work emails, and generally distracted thinking about work. So I guess I also violated no multitasking and losing the digital leash! Going forward I'll try to leave my phone elsewhere when my attention should be on my family.

-Scott

-----Original Message-----
From: ironlady@stagen.simplelists.com [mailto:ironlady@stagen.simplelists.com] On Behalf Of Hobeiche, Nicola
Sent: Tuesday, March 07, 2017 11:19 PM
To: ironlady@stagen.simplelists.com
Subject: Re: Picking up TED

I'm going off topic everyone - just roll with it.  In honor of international women's day tomorrow I thought I would share this great article highlighting the importance of gender diversity in the workplace and the creative way this asset management company is drawing attention to the topic. We all know the bull on wall street - meet his challenger.

https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.businessinsider.com_stage-2Dstreet-2Dglobal-2Dadvisors-2Dgirl-2Dstatue-2Din-2Dfront-2Dof-2Dwall-2Dstreet-2Dbull-2D2017-2D3&d=DwIF-g&c=l6wIEjFZ2r6NRbgTeJOW4HMPY8FVASe8l9IlzHzRYYs&r=1-4p8ieMLkENFHpm-WLCdqiJNmCP0-dKDJ_DAEMza2c&m=Lx_F5gRLciVEJSK7la8_0u3AcRjZN9CsTCVZTqmIdmU&s=J43PW7YIsJbD3BbI6SW98K9b4W94QQ7nKu0Qx2ovIDE&e=

Nicola Hobeiche

On Mar 6, 2017, at 3:55 PM, Farha, Ryan <Ryan.Farha@orix.com<mailto:Ryan.Farha@orix.com>> wrote:

Discussing TED and the drama triangle last week helped me bring it back to front and center at home and work.

I know it's reemphasized often by our coaches, but simple awareness during a situation really helps me put this stuff in practice.  A couple of examples:

1.       A colleague came into my office last week after making a very avoidable mistake.  The person was very apologetic, but also unnecessarily hard on himself.  He assumed the victim role from the outset.  Usually, my instinct would be to wing it and say whatever came to mind at the moment to help nullify the situation.  Instead, I used the framework of the drama triangle and mentally assigned ourselves roles to work through it.  I asked (non-patronizing) questions and he ultimately came around to realizing what he learned from the mistake.  It was nice to know what to do (in this instance, recognize the victim and shift into coach mode) to bring the person out of his rut.

2.       My son is 4.5 and going through this stage where if he doesn't get his way, his eyes take the shape of a Sith Lord and he yells in a very commanding way.  In some instances, he will swing his hand like he wants to hit me, his mom or sister out of frustration.  This morning, he went into this routine and slapped his hand at my wife's leg.  Usually - and I have to be careful on what I put in writing here - that behavior would have unleashed in me something a little more fearsome than a persecutor.  Instead, I took a deep breath and my son by the hand, led him to our bedroom, shut the door, sat him down, and asked him about 10 questions about his behavior.  At the end, he clearly accepted that his behavior was wrong.  I have to add that we also left it where if he does it again, there will be a severe consequence that involves giving toys away . . . but just go with me here.

I'm glad to be in the zone of practicing these exercises again.  With a year of practice my hope is that these exercises become more natural for me rather than intentional.

<image001.jpg><http://www.orix.com/>

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Ryan Farha  |  Head of Corporate/M&A  |  Legal ORIX USA Corporation | 1717 Main Street, Suite 1100 | Dallas, TX 75201 t | 214-237-2242  e | ryan.farha@orix.com<mailto:ryan.farha@orix.com> | www.orix.com<http://www.orix.com>

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