...do we need to also apply the harsh judgement? does that help? do we need to add that part b? what’s the upside/downside of choosing to add that part b?

...do the labels of guilt, shame, anger, and awkward feelings of failure motivate us to do better next time? or just trigger and confirm deeper patterns/stories of doubts and self-worth? (e.g., fixed mindset stuff like "I knew I wasn’t a good leader/parent/partner/etc; "I knew I’m not cut out for next level ___”; “I knew I can’t change"; “I knew I’m just too busy for this”; “I knew my situation was different” ; “I knew the hand I was dealt blows/not fair”; “I knew I was doomed to repeat___”; I knew I can’t learn how to ___")

...do these reactive self judgment habits drive us to get better results? or just raise negative stress/drama?

...is adding part b an effective part of the next level learning practice? does part b sound like it helps with a shift towards mastery of your learning goal?

…is it possible that just noticing the incongruence itself (via walk the talk practices, reflection) can be enough of a motivator to help us channel the curiosity we’ll need to close the gap? 

...what if we just recognize the uncomfortable and awkward “wobble” experience of noticing the gap, as just that - part of the learning process? If we’re noticing it, then its just a signal that we can choose to (be curious about and) learn from or not.  

Of course I prefer (a socially-defined preference) to be good at all things and I prefer to be recognized as exceptional & competent vs looking incompetent….UNLESS I’m aware that I’m choosing to be engaged in a lifelong process of learning. That’s the GROWTH mindset orientation. 

...what if to be more effective learners, we practiced a more effective and compassionate longterm response to NOTICING INCONGRUENCE by simply noticing & ask ourselves - what’s up with that?