Thank you Dumi and Tony
I appreciate your re-cap
I am Tring to be active listener and utilizing a new process on the phone vrs face to face

On the phone I am actively listening and writing notes down and pausing as to not interrupt the talker.
This is a challenge as I act as the knower vrs the learner
The active listening clearly help me in a state of being the learner

I am practicing the process and am working with coach Nathanael
This will be a life time process and am grateful to the practice and awareness.
Slow down to speed up as the coach teaches.
Cheers

Thank you Rebecca

> On Apr 26, 2015, at 8:59 AM, Duminda Gunawardena <Duminda.G@synergenhealth.com> wrote:
>
> Tony:
>
> Thank you for sharing your experiences with Active Listening.  I struggle
> too.  In sales engagements, I (and we as a company) need to spend more
> time in engaging in active listening to understand our client¹s needs.
> Too ofter, we do not invest in adequate time to understand all of their
> requirements, before rushing to our sales pitch.
>
> With our associates, I am training my self to listen without judgement or
> interruption.  Too often, the thought of ³what is &*$% is he/she
> thinking?² runs in to my mind.  I am now on a journey to be more
> empathetic.
>
> Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood - Steven Covey, Seven
> Habits of effective people.
>
>
> Sounds easy but I am trying hard to get better at it.
>
> Dumi
>
>> On 4/26/15, 1:23 AM, "Tony Lillios" <tony@nivana.com> wrote:
>>
>> I have been struggling with Active Listening all quarter.  I have been
>> very conscious about "turning it on" but felt I consistently asked close
>> ended questions and interrupted with a lot of clarifying questions .   I
>> feel I have been successful at not speaking autobiographically but still
>> listen autobiographically.  For example, I would hear my thoughts go, "Oh
>> yeah, my family is from Hawaii as well.  I know exactly what you are
>> talking about" and while I wouldn't respond this way,  this kind of
>> thought would affect my way of engaging and bring me into a knowing
>> mindset.
>>
>> After my last coaching call with Nathanael while practicing Active
>> Listening, he called me out my perseverating about my short comings as a
>> drive for attention and focus on me while the reality was there were
>> several things I was doing well.  My intention, my curiosity is genuine
>> and intact even when I stumble on the methods a bit.  He advised to stay
>> focused on the intention and keep practicing (and stop being so dramatic
>> and hard on myself).
>>
>> As he pointed out a saying from his mom, "The is a difference between
>> trying and doing your best".
>>
>> I'm doing my best and looking forward to getting better.
>>
>> -tony
>