Tony:

Thank you for sharing your experiences with Active Listening.  I struggle
too.  In sales engagements, I (and we as a company) need to spend more
time in engaging in active listening to understand our client¹s needs.
Too ofter, we do not invest in adequate time to understand all of their
requirements, before rushing to our sales pitch.

With our associates, I am training my self to listen without judgement or
interruption.  Too often, the thought of ³what is &*$% is he/she
thinking?² runs in to my mind.  I am now on a journey to be more
empathetic.

Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood - Steven Covey, Seven
Habits of effective people.

Sounds easy but I am trying hard to get better at it.

Dumi

On 4/26/15, 1:23 AM, "Tony Lillios" <tony@nivana.com> wrote:

>I have been struggling with Active Listening all quarter.  I have been
>very conscious about "turning it on" but felt I consistently asked close
>ended questions and interrupted with a lot of clarifying questions .   I
>feel I have been successful at not speaking autobiographically but still
>listen autobiographically.  For example, I would hear my thoughts go, "Oh
>yeah, my family is from Hawaii as well.  I know exactly what you are
>talking about" and while I wouldn't respond this way,  this kind of
>thought would affect my way of engaging and bring me into a knowing
>mindset.
>
>After my last coaching call with Nathanael while practicing Active
>Listening, he called me out my perseverating about my short comings as a
>drive for attention and focus on me while the reality was there were
>several things I was doing well.  My intention, my curiosity is genuine
>and intact even when I stumble on the methods a bit.  He advised to stay
>focused on the intention and keep practicing (and stop being so dramatic
>and hard on myself).
>
>As he pointed out a saying from his mom, "The is a difference between
>trying and doing your best".
>
>I'm doing my best and looking forward to getting better.
>
>-tony
>