Earlier this week I picked up a rental car from JFK that had a temporary license plate taped with packing tape squarely in the middle of the rear window.  I didn't realize this until I was a bit aways from the airport and found myself in rain and traffic and wasn't going to turn around to have them fix it.

For 2 days I drove around in the drama triangle persecuting them for doing "this to me" and being a victim.  After 2 days of quietly of telling myself stories around this (they didn't care, they are incompetent, etc), I finally realized what I was doing and thought I use it as a way to provide constructive feedback and to hopefully break the vicious cycle I was finding myself in.

A simple call unfolded with not a lot of emotional charge for me.  "When I picked up my car 2 days ago from JFK, I later realized the license plate was taped in middle of the window which is blocking my view.  It makes me feel unsafe in the car when I am driving.  Can I relocate it to the corner of the window or is there a reason it needs to be there?"

The person on the phone calmly apologized for the inconvenience and offered it to remedy it if I brought the car back but said I was free to move it.  He didn't know why it was placed there but said sometimes that happens.  After the call, I went further to email the branch to let them know of the situation and that they might consider the placement in their operating procedures in the future.

The story is simple and trite, but 2 things that were interesting for me.  1) it broke me out of my vicious cycle and moved me into the empowerment dynamic.  By being "in action" with feedback I felt I could put it to bed and move on.  @) Also, by using the SBI format in the feedback, I was able to deliver feedback and have resulting conversation with very clear air and not a bunch of negative energy (persecuting/victim energy).

What I love about the SBI tool, is when I find I just follow the format, and lead with REAL facts, I pull out all my perceptions and stories around it and give the person the space to state their side of it more openly.  It also forces me towards being in a learning/understanding mode as well.

-tony