OMG, TonyŠI do this. I didn¹t realize it until I read your post. Ugh, I
need a muzzle for my mind, not just my mouth!

jessica nunez
o: 972.388.5510     4890 alpha rd., ste. 110
c: 214.202.9353     dallas, tx 75244

On 12/8/14, 12:40 AM, "Tony Lillios" <tony@nivana.com> wrote:

>Recently in a conversation with my father who was about to undergo a
>fairly massive heart surgery, I found myself in a "typical" conversation
>with him, where he was retelling one of his stories I had heard tens of
>times easily.  My dad can hold court like the best of them and usually
>when I am the audience of one these stories, I zone out, stop listening,
>I anticipate what is coming next, realizing I forgot details, ask him to
>repeat aspects of the story or just ignore those details.  I "indulge"
>him and let him tell his stories but I am just counting the minutes of
>when I can get out of the conversation.
>
>Only because of the situation, not knowing if this might be my last
>conversation with him, and the context of Stagen, I realized I was
>horribly in a knower mindset without even opening my mouth and eventually
>during this specific conversation I was able to shift gears.
>
>What was enlightening for me was that being a knower doesn't require
>talking or even necessarily a subject matter in which you are "learning"
>or "being an expert" on.  It can show up as an attitude and approach and
>even affect just the way you listen.
>
>So while I have been increasingly conscious when I am in a knower mode
>when I am speaking, I am now unlocking how I am in a knower mode (which
>is OFTEN) in a listening mode.
>
>I have what I call "red flags" behaviors to help serve as early warning
>signs of when I might be entering into states I don't want to be.
>Interrupting people and completing their sentences is one of my long
>standing red flags (somehow I justify it as efficiencyŠdon't have them
>tell me something I already know) and I now have connected the dots on
>this behavior with the knower mindset.
>
>Looks like it is time to start not only biting my tongue, but to shift
>myself into a learning mode when this happens.
>
>-t
>