Stewart,

This thread bounced to the bottom of my list for some reason and I missed it before.

Late, but I wanted to chime in that I can feel for you on what a challenging decision this must have been for you guys.

In my own family, my 3 older siblings moved to Brazil with my mom to live with their grandparents when my dad was working so hard and barely spending anytime at home.  They did this for a year so my dad could "crank" and then he opened up an office closer to home when they returned and all turned out great.  A big adventure for the kids, time with the grandparents, dad really pushed his career forward that year without a daily challenge of trying to rush home and my mother got to spend time in her country of origin.

So as others have said, you are already looking at the positive and I confident you will look back at this short chapter as a great choice.  You are lucky to have parents like that to take on the challenge and adventure.

-tony

 Nov 18, 2014, at 12:32 PM, Rick Sapio <rsapio@mutualcapitalalliance.com> wrote:

> Stewart,
>
> I love how you turned a potential, big negative into a positive.
>
> This is great news!
>
> Rick
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: list-manager@stagen.simplelists.com [mailto:list-manager@stagen.simplelists.com] On Behalf Of Stewart Hsu
> Sent: Monday, November 17, 2014 7:10 AM
> To: buffett@stagen.simplelists.com
> Subject: Re: trade-offs
>
> Thanks Rick and Nathanael for the words of understanding!
>
> I am waiting for the right opportunity to share the T.E.D. book with my wife — I just finished it myself recently (love it!) — and for her on one hand I want her to read it (so that we’re intentionally both co-creating our lives together), and on the other hand want her to focus 100% of her energy on finishing one of her projects by 12/31/14 (which is why we sent Ethan to China in the first place).  I am buying a copy to send to my sister (which is a whole other story).
>
> In reflection, after 1 week, the decision to send our son to China was the right one.  We have a WiFi camera setup (Dropcam — I recommend!) in grand-parents living room, so we can see Ethan in Shanghai, and we’re on Skype at least every other day.  He’s fully engaged in loving care of grandparents, and my wife and I are both able to work AND start getting caught up on a lot of things that have been delayed for a couple years.  We’re putting together our prioritized to-do list while Ethan’s away so that we’re making the best use of the ‘extra’ time we have.
>
> Thanks,
> Stewart
>
>
>> On Nov 11, 2014, at 11:07 AM, Rick Sapio <rsapio@mutualcapitalalliance.com> wrote:
>>
>> Stewart,
>>
>> As I read this, I can't imagine what it would be like in your shoes.  Thank you for being open and transparent in your post.
>>
>> WOW!  I couldn't imagine flying halfway around the world to drop off my son.
>>
>> Please let us know if there is anything that we can do.
>>
>> One thought that came to mind, as a suggestion to help improve your relationship with you wife, is to suggest that she read the Power of T.E.D. book.  When my wife read it, it changed our relationship.
>>
>> If she decides to do it, please let us know how it goes.
>>
>> Best,
>>
>> rick
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: list-manager@stagen.simplelists.com [mailto:list-manager@stagen.simplelists.com] On Behalf Of Stewart Hsu
>> Sent: Monday, November 10, 2014 1:58 PM
>> To: buffett@stagen.simplelists.com
>> Subject: trade-offs
>>
>> ...my apologies for being out of touch with the group for 2-3 weeks now.  i feel like i owe an explanation.
>>
>> i'm on a plane from Shanghai back to DFW now, i left DFW this past Sat morning - total time in Shanghai about 24 hours. i dropped off Ethan, our 2 year old, to grandparents to take care of until 3/1/15.  the last month or so has probably been the most demanding for me personally and professionally of my life.  the self awareness and DT awareness definitely helped me stay more grounded (admittedly i still 'lost it' more than a few times).  there were many nights where the only way to get things done was to work between 1am-7am.  my wife and i were not on the same page with how are kids should be taken care of (we have 2 year old son and 4 month old daughter) and my wife has 2 big projects coming due in the next 3-4 months - the stress of which has been building up since she has not been able to put in good hours since our daughter was born.  excellent care for the kids comes first for her, above everything else.  long story short we finally had a good discussion a couple weeks ago and believe that sending Ethan to China is the best decision for our family at this time.  ever since we made that decision, there's some hope again.  on the professional side, in a roughly 30 day timespan, we are closing $60M+ in transactions (across 4 properties) - as you can imagine there is a lot to check and recheck, and has really stretched me and made me realize that we really need "more team".  a fellow EOer told me a few months back it was easier to grow your company 10x vs 2x-3x, as in the latter case, you simply just work harder and put in more hours, but to grow 10x, you realize you can't work 10 times more, so your mind then shifts to focusing on building team, process and structure.  this concept energizes me.
>>
>> so, between these two big things happening in my life, i've had to consciously choose family and work, over ILP and personal growth.  now that our son is in good, loving care of my wife's parents, my wife can rest easier, focus just on our daughter and allow her the time & space to create and do great work.  while i love my son to death, the fact is right now i cannot cut my work hours any more and ultimately this is a short term thing never to be repeated.
>>
>> the big benefit to this decision, is that with my wife at peace and able to work, things should settle down at home, and i'll have more time to support her, get our team and process built out at work, and more time for ILP!
>>
>> time is precious.  i've made a promise to myself to make the most of it while Ethan is away.
>>
>> stewart
>
>