Hi All-

Last week, I had opportunities to deliver constructive feedback to two different leaders on my team.  As I reflected on how the conversations went, it struck me that my level of comfort in delivering the constructive feedback is very much dependent on the audience and my perception on how the feedback will be received.  I have one TM that is very willing to admit when he makes a mistake, almost too willing.  Last week, he missed a deadline and I followed the SBI guidelines and delivered the feedback very specifically, timely and with very clear desired outcomes.  As expected, he took the feedback well, thanked me for the coaching and honesty.  If they could all go so well!  My bigger risk with this leader is making sure that this missing deadlines doesn't continue and become a habit.  Like I said, he doesn't seem to mind saying "whoops, I really dropped the ball on this one."  If it does, I will get to practice more of this constructive feedback and include the consequences if it continues to happen.

My second opportunity to deliver constructive feedback was completely different.  This time it was with a leader who has a hard time self-reflecting and although states that she wants the constructive feedback, she becomes very defensive when she receives it.  In this case she has been alienating a number of her business partners and the partnership and related work product is suffering.  Knowing that she would most likely not take the feedback well (telling myself a story?), I was not looking forward to the conversation and in fact I delayed giving her the feedback for a day just to procrastinate.  When I summoned up the courage to have the conversation, I was well prepared and really focused on making sure she heard that this was about her behavior and not about her as a person or an attack on her character.  I laid out how this lack of partnership does now work well in our collaborative culture and at the end of the day was having a negative impact on our broader team and our business partners.  As expected, she started to cast blame on others but when I moved the conversation back to the lack of partnership and how it was impacting the project, she did admit that things needed to change.  Although, she is not completely on board, this was progress.  We have a follow-up meeting later this week to discuss further and make sure we are aligned on expectations going forward.

I will say, being super prepared for both conversations was a huge help, but the first message was so much easier to deliver!

Hope you all have a great week.

BOC